Someday, probably in the not-too-distant future, my son will ask me the famous "Where do babies come from?" Like many others I'm sure, I've often wondered how I might respond to it when the time comes. There's no magic answer to prepare, since he might ask me next week or he might ask me in four years, and the answer should obviously be age-appropriate.
If you have the same concern, I've discovered a very simple answer to that question:
Why, they come from Clarksville, Tennessee, of course.
I kid you not, this place is some sort of vortex for babies to enter the world. I challenge anyone to walk in to a shop, restaurant, or other public location without witnessing at least one pregnant woman. Seriously. I'll give you a BILLION dollars if you can do it. (Legal disclaimer- not really).
And I don't know if it's something in the water or what, but it seems like you just aren't going to fit in around here unless you have 4 or 5 kids, minimum.
But hey, it's a great little town. Now let's see if I can convince the wife of how important it is to fit in.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
My Wii Knee Hurts
As I approach 40, aches and pains associated with every day activity or exercise are becoming slightly more common. Even so, it's still not too bad, since exercise is usually not on my daily "things to do" list. Yes, I know, I need to exercise.
But I've always been kind of an "all or nothing" guy when it comes to physical activity. Walking? Boring. Running? Please. Lifting weights? Uh, no. But get me on some sports field of battle and I'll compete until I drop, and woe unto him who tries to keep up.
Unfortunately, those opportunities get fewer and farther between as time goes by. So until recently my only incentive to exercise was a dismal printout of my latest lab results.
And then came Wii.
Now, we've had it for a while, and I've enjoyed playing the little games, but I never got too into using it as an exercise platform. The wife loves the Wii Fit and some other exercise program, but it just doesn't compel me or get me to break much of a sweat.
And then came the Wii Fit Plus.
I never cared too much for seeing how many revolutions I could get with 5 hula hoops in 3 minutes, or jogging in place while watching my Mii lumber his way around a virtual path.
And then I found the Obstacle Course. Now this is something I can get into! What competitive, red-blooded American male doesn't like obstacle courses?!? For those not familiar, you have a limited time to complete the course, dodging giant wrecking balls, hurdling logs, timing jumps across moving floating platforms, sometimes while negotiating slippery ice or multi-directional treadmills to throw off your timing. Last week I spent an hour trying to complete the various levels, sometimes coming within one or two jumps of the finish line before time ran out or I was sent plummeting to my cyberdoom. An hour. A sweat-inducing, hard-breathing, water-break-worthy hour-long workout.
And then I discovered my Wii Knee.
I imagine it has something to do with bending my legs and crouching down preparing to make a death-defying leap, body tense with concentration, and then springing like a cat at just the right moment. Doesn't seem all that bad, until you factor in that you must find a way to will your body to overcome the laws of physics and remain firmly planted on the Wii Fit Board- while jumping. Impossible, you say? Hardly. Evidently your knee has some sort of secret mechanism that engages and drives an "Emergency Stop" bolt into position. It's pretty convenient, and under normal circumstances fairly benign. But this fail safe was obviously not designed to be utilized hundreds of times an hour.
I can only hope the damage is not permanent. It's not excruciating, but it's there. It's hard to describe. I wouldn't say there is a burning sensation in my Wii Knee, but it definitely feels a little sore. Sometimes I have to massage my Wii Knee a bit now before it wants to work properly, but that's okay. And now that I'm into exercise again, I only hope my Wii Knee doesn't let me down.
But I've always been kind of an "all or nothing" guy when it comes to physical activity. Walking? Boring. Running? Please. Lifting weights? Uh, no. But get me on some sports field of battle and I'll compete until I drop, and woe unto him who tries to keep up.
Unfortunately, those opportunities get fewer and farther between as time goes by. So until recently my only incentive to exercise was a dismal printout of my latest lab results.
And then came Wii.
Now, we've had it for a while, and I've enjoyed playing the little games, but I never got too into using it as an exercise platform. The wife loves the Wii Fit and some other exercise program, but it just doesn't compel me or get me to break much of a sweat.
And then came the Wii Fit Plus.
I never cared too much for seeing how many revolutions I could get with 5 hula hoops in 3 minutes, or jogging in place while watching my Mii lumber his way around a virtual path.
And then I found the Obstacle Course. Now this is something I can get into! What competitive, red-blooded American male doesn't like obstacle courses?!? For those not familiar, you have a limited time to complete the course, dodging giant wrecking balls, hurdling logs, timing jumps across moving floating platforms, sometimes while negotiating slippery ice or multi-directional treadmills to throw off your timing. Last week I spent an hour trying to complete the various levels, sometimes coming within one or two jumps of the finish line before time ran out or I was sent plummeting to my cyberdoom. An hour. A sweat-inducing, hard-breathing, water-break-worthy hour-long workout.
And then I discovered my Wii Knee.
I imagine it has something to do with bending my legs and crouching down preparing to make a death-defying leap, body tense with concentration, and then springing like a cat at just the right moment. Doesn't seem all that bad, until you factor in that you must find a way to will your body to overcome the laws of physics and remain firmly planted on the Wii Fit Board- while jumping. Impossible, you say? Hardly. Evidently your knee has some sort of secret mechanism that engages and drives an "Emergency Stop" bolt into position. It's pretty convenient, and under normal circumstances fairly benign. But this fail safe was obviously not designed to be utilized hundreds of times an hour.
I can only hope the damage is not permanent. It's not excruciating, but it's there. It's hard to describe. I wouldn't say there is a burning sensation in my Wii Knee, but it definitely feels a little sore. Sometimes I have to massage my Wii Knee a bit now before it wants to work properly, but that's okay. And now that I'm into exercise again, I only hope my Wii Knee doesn't let me down.
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